marriage, unhappiness

Before getting married, my husband showed me a family image with spaghetti, fried rice, and kimbap. In fact, my husband’s cooking skills were better than me who lived with my parents. But the only food that you made me after marriage was bibimmyeon and fried rice that I asked for. Even when I was at work, it was up to me to prepare dinner and wash the dishes. Of course, I did housework such as cleaning and laundry after I quit the company, and I was the only one who did the dishes after I ate and prepared bread or rice cakes for breakfast. I didn’t do much food or do a great deal of housework, but it’s a job, even if it’s a small thing that doesn’t stand out.

We keep our marriage alive with public funds. Even after I quit my job, I still pay public money and don’t live on my husband’s living expenses. (I’m now taking a break for 10 years to work and change jobs. I’ve tried many different things to change jobs. But my husband treated me like a man who didn’t do anything at home. When I asked my husband what he did all day, the answer that came back was just “worked” and it was routine to fall asleep saying I was tired. Sometimes when I asked what I had for lunch and what my day was like, he only talked about his daily life, and never wondered what his wife was hungry, tired, or did he do. I could only answer a day’s call when I asked when I was coming.

Whenever I took care of something, my husband told me that I looked like a ‘mom’. It wasn’t a good meaning and something nuance wasn’t good. I just laughed it off, but I should have said, ‘I’m not your mother.’ The husband took it for granted to be taken care of, and so did I, as if his son were not doing anything to his mother.

When married sisters jokingly said, “My husband is raising another son,” I wondered how the relationship could be described as a relationship between parents and children. Now that I think about it, if the woman continues to take care of them and be as good as the mother, the relationship with my husband will become solid.

My husband, on the contrary, didn’t show me a “daddy” side, and he said he didn’t like it. That’s why I don’t seem to have tolerated and understood much of my deficiencies. I have at least acted as a wife, or as a result of the attention and affection I can do to my loved one who lives with me, which in the end has become a trifle to my opponent.

My husband has always wanted me to approach him as an attractive woman rather than a comfortable woman who lives in me. No, isn’t it possible to do anything only when the most basic living conditions are supported in everyday life? If we play together, who really raises cows? However, he hoped to maintain the perfect appearance from the outside even inside. It was an ideal that I expected from others as well as myself. The husband was curious about a person’s appearance and liked it.

Anyway, since I quit my job and was able to do a lot of housework, I will do the work given before my eyes first, and I don’t know the attractive person my husband wants. Is it fair to say that I’m not the attractive one now… …when I got married, I heard that there was a husband who thought his wife was home and disparaged his wife when he saw women working outside, but I thought it was really something I could see in my fathers in the eighties and nineties, but I didn’t know that feeling from my husband.

This is one of the many misfortunes I feel in my marriage. But I’m going to keep talking about the share of the housework, and I’m going to ask you to think the same, whether I do housework or outside work, whether I was in the past or now. I think this is a positive fight to overcome misfortune, and I just hope my husband has a attitude of listening to other people’s opinions.