Summer vacation, Andalusia, Mother-in-law

I don’t mistake my relationship with my mother for blind pink. I can only say that we have made a better relationship than before, and that we will continue to work hard.

Until now, my mother had been a pronoun of sharpness that was tricky to me, and did not express the same words well. The wrong answer to my mother often came back with a bad ending. It is naive to predict that horseshoe spines will be less deadly than poisonous apples. As the years go by, they do not become dull, and the place they have been forced to take does not heal. It was as difficult for me to find a situation-appropriate and witty answer in German as the mathematical orthodoxy. I was always nervous in front of my mother, and the more I kept quiet. She was a frustrating daughter-in-law, even I thought. It is ironic that I often hear compliments from my mother these days in German. I humbly answer that I think starting work helped, but I know better than anyone that I’m no longer nervous in front of my mother. I’m glad my mother didn’t notice.

Mother’s frivolity was also confirmed here on the resort island four years ago. Not in my relationship with my child. At that time, the child was six years old. She was not old enough to listen to her mother, and her pride was also formidable. It was a time of shock and grief when my father-in-law passed away before the vacation. At that time I wasn’t as comfortable with my mother as I am now. Mother had a war of nerves with her child at every meal in the restaurant. Only for dessert or ice cream. The child didn’t even say anything about the dessert that grandmother had chosen, and only went to get the ice cream after papa. That’s what he was upset about. Every time the child insisted, the atmosphere became close. A round of queens that had never been drawn to others ended in a draw. I don’t interfere in their relationship then or now. The end of the holiday ended amicably. At the European soccer league that opened at the time, a child waved the German flag with his grandmother, who was a soccer fan. This year, a 10-year-old child grew both height and sense, becoming her grandmother’s roommate!

My mother’s toughness shone only once during this summer vacation. The trip was coming to an end. What my mother and I have in common is that we don’t enjoy swimming. My mother bought me a swimsuit. He entered the sea only once with us, and went to the pool with his husband and child. I had a strange mosquito bite on my hand by the Izzar River in Munich before going on vacation, but the bite was rarely healed, so I didn’t go into the pool. I saw my mother swimming in a swimsuit for the first time. It was good to see my mother satisfied. The problem was on the verge of going to the sea. My mother was upset that I left my handbag in the room when she left it to me. I hurried back and left it behind, but it seemed to have played a part in the long journey. It was a hot midday. That was it.

Ever since I came to Germany, more precisely since my mother’s memory dropped last year, I’ve been trying to accept her as she is. Thanks to this, I was able to move on to the fact that you said that you did not eat in order while eating at the resort this year. Soup and salad come first, and meat or fish or noodles are later, because I brought whatever I wanted and ate. I was not offended by my mother’s comments or hurt my pride. You’re right when you’re right. It was me who was most surprised by myself. How do you eat soup and salad later? I know, Mother! That’s what you call a slap in the face. Plus a smile. That remark from my mother, who was the same as before, hurt me at the time. My mother hasn’t changed in the past, but I was as sensitive as a hedgehog. Now I know I don’t have to.

I should also tell you about the episode of my mother’s anger after receiving a blood pressure meter from my friend on my birthday this year. The reason why my mother got angry. What a stupid gift. If you’re 75 years old, can you give me such a gift? I’m sure she was worried about her health and gave it to me to use when she needed it. I mean. I don’t need that. So what are you going to do? I’ll send you back! I raised my mother’s hand with a burst of laughter. Oh no, you don’t want to receive it even if you die. Give it to me in that yard, you can’t do it. My mother returned my blood pressure meter to my best friend, and my best friend, who said she chose it as a gift because she liked it, has not contacted me since then. I’m not trying to hurt my mother. In the old days, you would have considered your mother a eccentric person. But isn’t there something that everyone can’t yield? Whether it’s childish or not in the eyes of others. It means I want to protect that Maginot line. To stand in line without reproach, without argument, without two words. That’s the last line I took in my relationship with my mother.