daily life, life, writing

In early April, the writing was crouched in the author’s drawer.

I wrote down how my daily life was broken by a phone call, how I struggled in it, what I fought over, what I was angry about, and how much I cried, but I stopped. The article, which started writing again, did not continue, so I wrote it for more than a month and stopped again.

Any time you find your daily routine, you will unfold the things that have been doing. And my mind to be comforted again and to live by that power became blurred as before.

A lot has changed.

It was dark in front of me. I couldn’t do anything. To maintain life, I decided to do only what I had to do. Then a novel result came out. There was nothing on my checklist that I had to do while I was almost obsessively. Of course, I didn’t get in trouble if I didn’t. I had a laugh. What have I been harassing myself for?

The counseling schedule that he planned for the first time in his life was also canceled. Interviews for the change were also not available in a row. It wasn’t my will. As always, life went without regard to my plans and efforts. The job that I had declared to quit because I couldn’t stand it kept me going. Every single day of the year, which cannot be foreseen, was to be done.

A rosary, which I thought would be a lot if I did it once in the quarter, came into my daily life. After praying and nagging, he called the cathedral and carried out the transfer of the bridge, and began to pay for the school’s money. That was all I could do, much more than 20 years after living as a cold-hearted person. That much I was reeling and desperate.

New routines that flow along like that.

Humans are animals of adaptation and follow the laws of inertia well. Doing nothing has become a new routine.

I only commute to work and I didn’t read or write. All that was meant to be were reduced to meaningless things after meeting the rough wind and waves. I only watched TV in my spare time. It was a little different from lethargy. It’s no use getting sick, it’s over when you die. I fell into nihilism that everything else is useless.

When my mind recovers, I have to come back to everything I did before, and it will be found, but it was not easy. I was much more surprised than I felt at the time, and the shock was deep and seemingly fine, but the trauma was stronger than I thought.

Brunch, who was in and out of attendance check, has long been a matter of other people. It was one of the daily lives that I thought I should not do, and I remembered that I existed. It just felt like everything was useless. Nevertheless, there were some people who read and did nothing, but strangely enough, the number of subscribers was increasing.

Is it meaningless? Does he need time?

Over a month, he recovered to read for about half an hour on the weekend, but he could not even think of writing. I forgot how to write because writing is a habit. I’m not forcing you to do this, but you should stop it! The writing went as far as to think (not a complete past form). I’m still thinking about it.) But at some point, I was feeling uncomfortable like a kid who was putting off his homework.

There was a time when I was worried about what had happened because the writer who subscribed had not been seen for a while. I stopped there. But when I couldn’t be seen, there were many people who came and asked me how I was doing. I said I would come back and you would wait. If so, thank you for everything you’ve done, even if it’s gone! It’s not polite to say goodbye and leave. In violation of his promise, he thought he should not show his three-tier combo’s “eat and run.”

In the meantime, when the old article had a lighter, I read it again, “Huh? Did I say this?’ ‘Oh.. “This expression is good!” I felt the power of the record as I fell into self-bluffing for a moment.

Then, I think I just need more time, not meaningless.

Little by little. Slowly. If it doesn’t work.

I can’t say I grew up through hardship and suffering. It’s over the corner, so it’s not going on right now, but it can’t be considered complete.

Still, his view of the world has changed a little, and his attitude toward life has become somewhat humble. I don’t know if I’ll be able to give up my habit and come back to my original self soon, but I pray every day to make sure that I don’t forget this feeling.

I realized only after I was driven into an extreme situation where I could not even say that the days of irritation and anger were complaints that could come out of daily life where tranquility was guaranteed. The realization was awakened by a painful bump of the truth in the book, which was said to be accompanied by pain.

I’m not who I used to be yet. Reading is not as fun or as enjoyable as it used to be, and I still have no news to write.

Nevertheless, the reason why I publish such a short-lived article is because I feel obligated to report, “Those who have worried about me, I’m a little better now,” without giving up my lifelong model student temperament.(Nobody’s been waiting…?) Another celebrity disease…

I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I wrote in the drawer last year…It’s not a secret that nobody wants to know.