daily life, the sound of rain, life
On rainy days, there were times when I left my body to music while looking at the rain. I liked the serenity in my quiet mind, listening absentmindedly to the repeated sound of rain.
Now… go to work, start a family, start a business, raise a child… As I live through the process of life one by one, I feel the joy and sorrow that I feel at each stage, and I am already in my 40s.
There was a personal thought that it didn’t mean much to be a year older and change the front seat, but I think a little differently when I see the rain today. What people feel as the number of front digits of their age changes is probably a reflection of their life that comes every 10 years. Where am I standing and where am I going?
In my 20s, I ran around the Tancheon walkway near my house listening to my favorite music through earphones in the pouring rain. I had such a time when I smiled, feeling my heart pounding even when my whole body was wet.
But how am I now? Whether it’s raining or snowing, I’m just busy getting up to work in the morning. It was this path that I chose thinking about the meaning of life, but I think a lot of time has passed since the moment of choice, and now I’m just finishing what is in front of me.
Not that something is wrong.
Wouldn’t everyone live like that? I remember the face of my cute son lying in bed last night and talking in his sleep. Thank you for growing up healthy in Corona, and I can’t help but laugh when I see him trying to connect words little by little to speak after the age of three.
However, when I saw his sleeping face last night, I thought I was that age. And, listening to the sound of rain, I watch myself today without any excitement.
Not that something is wrong.
Age is just a number. However, what I usually do most strongly affects myself. Maybe, the things I’m doing now are making me more and more blunt. I guess it’s making me feel less emotional.
What remains at the end of this dull road?
Not that something is wrong.
People change. However, there are still a lot of things that you don’t want to change, so you want to hold onto them even if they’re not. Because I don’t even know if these changes are good for me.
It’s just… at least I didn’t want that kind of emotion to get dull. I cry while listening to good songs, I laugh a lot when I see snow, and I cry a lot while watching a sad movie. Ah… of course, my wife is calling me a faucet, but at least I feel it’s definitely different from anything in my youth, from my childhood.
For the time being, I’ll have to think about how I can change, how I can’t help it, and how to accept it.